So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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