coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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