my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
