yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
