is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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