sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
