she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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