There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize