i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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