Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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