your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
where are my eyebrows?
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