Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
