when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
