Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
