So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You can't just leave with hair like that
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
