Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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