just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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