My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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