Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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