So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
