Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
