you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
