I will die if light touches me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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