Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
