What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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