i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
