Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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