my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
this beer tastes like vomit already
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
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she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
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Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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