I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
