You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize