I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.