well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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