Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad

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(970): Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad http://tfl.nu/podg

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?

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(612): You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized? http://tfl.nu/64yi

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.

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(732): I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT. http://tfl.nu/aknw

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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee

(704): View more from North Carolina

Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her

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(706): I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee (704): Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her http://tfl.nu/95cd

Replies (23) Good night (4410) Bad night (641)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.

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(785): I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now. http://tfl.nu/22x1

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(708): View more from Illinois

You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.

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(708): You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie. http://tfl.nu/ufjq

Replies (13) Good night (1860) Bad night (2641) Order T-Shirt
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(514): View more from Quebec

Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.

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(514): Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta. http://tfl.nu/sa2y

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(520): View more from Arizona

Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.

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(520): Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents. http://tfl.nu/dtw6

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(513): View more from Ohio

there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"

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(513): there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends" http://tfl.nu/u7q7

Replies (27) Good night (6071) Bad night (784)
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(805): View more from California

Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?

(805): View more from California

and why are they spooning a flamingo?

(714): View more from California

they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.

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(805): Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor? (805): and why are they spooning a flamingo? (714): they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice. http://tfl.nu/n0m3

Replies (14) Good night (3921) Bad night (816)
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(440): View more from Ohio

im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.

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(440): im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology. http://tfl.nu/d4l9

Replies (14) Good night (2973) Bad night (1369)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.

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(615): I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/rzly

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.

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(724): They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now. http://tfl.nu/wmrg

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(704): View more from North Carolina

There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.

(904): View more from Florida

And you say you're not good with numbers...

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(704): There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night. (904): And you say you're not good with numbers... http://tfl.nu/gbor

Replies (5) Good night (1085) Bad night (329)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.

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(678): I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please. http://tfl.nu/k3b6

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