Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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