you have to choose: penises or morals?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
