its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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