But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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