Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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