u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
