We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
