Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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