her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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