I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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