Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
