life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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