how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
