she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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