He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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