Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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