whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
