So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
