I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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