Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
