last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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