WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
