girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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