Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
