Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
