worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
